What great taste in shoes you have.

I'm rehoming Princess, Cleo's sister - in the meantime, she's living here with me. As you can see, she's totally appreciative of her new home, and is enjoying being reunited with her long lost sis, and her foster sister, Sahara....

Hello, world!

In some fairly important news...I've stopped doing this for a while. (except the minor incident involving a glass of champagne last night. And the pint of Guiness and bottle of Asahi the night before...anyone see my reasoning behind my decision to stop?)

I've been MIA, I know - so much to do - new Jeeps to drive, new jobs to be worked, another cat to tease, boys to see, movies to be watched, eyeballs to be set on fire whilst getting my eyelashes tinted, irate fathers to deal with etc... so little time.

I'm off to Les Miserables with my Nan and Mum tonight, so another day of blog inactivity. I am not forsaking you, I promise!

I will return with muchos verbal diarrhoea and bad photography tomorrow, I assure.

The new beastie I'm driving, C/O my father whilst D-Fib is at the car doctors. I am very. Very. Tempted to do things like this is in, but fear his overwhelming wrath. And that he'll take it away from me for good. I heart driving a Jeep; it's a massive power trip and I have the ability to ram people. I do rather look like a dirty bush pig in it, though.

Some mothers do 'ave em.

Mum: Nan said she was upset by the way men looked at you when we went to the Choir yesterday....

(insert me raising an eyebrow in recognition)

...but I told her they were just shocked at how beautiful you will turn out when you're her age!

(insert Nan rolling around in hysterical laughter).

Busy week? Goals? I should have known better.

I went to see a Welsh Choir with my Nan and mother today...and it was brilliant. I mean, I'm not a huge fan of singing hyms etc, but it was just wonderful. There were 52 men, and they sang some amazing songs, mostly Welsh (funny that, huh?) and there was some hilarious audience participation, and a lot of tears over some of the songs they sang about war.

After a quick dinner and some affectionate arguing over the UEFA Champions League Final (Mum's a Man Utd fan, and I'm an Arsenal girl so there's usually a lot of it going on) I set off home for an early night and a movie...and my poor, evil car died. In the middle of an intersection. As several cars came screaming to a halt, I brandished the large carving knife mum had given me ("I don't like you driving home without the dogs. Here, have a huge knife. Remember, it's self defense, not murder!") but was shocked and slightly relieved to realize 5 cars of total strangers all stopped to help me, one after the other. I eventually let a large hairy man who looked like he owned several Harley Davidsons (and Rottweilers) push my car off the road, while I frantically called Chef to come and try fix my car.

Sadly, she's been left parked on the side of the road in a rather insalubrious area, waiting to be stolen/torched/trashed/towed home. I sincerely hope it's the latter.

Tag! I'm it!

With love to my Chicago sister Melisa :)

First, the instructions:

Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following. They have to be real places, names, things. Nothing made up! Try to use different answers if the person in front of you had the same 1st initial. You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl.

What is your name: Katrina
4 letter word: Krap - I'm stuck already!
Vehicle: Ka (those little Ford thingys...right?)
City: Kansas City.
Boy's Name: Kris
Girl's Name: Katriona
Drink: Kahlua on ice.
Occupation: Krumper. Go SYTYCD!
Something you wear: Knapsack. If you're American, of course, Kilt if you're Scottish...
Celebrity: Kirsten Dunst (Kikki Drunkst!)
Food: Kahlua on ice. (It's this new liquid diet...)
Something found in a bathroom: Kyrptonite. Not mine, specifically...but I couldn't very well say K-Y now, could I? Oops...
Reason for Being Late: "Kleptomania set in again, and I had to be escorted to the station".
Cartoon Character: Kenny from South Park.
Something you shout: "Knickerbockers! I can't swear with a K!"
Animal: Krill (I realize it's aquatic, but I couldn't bring myself to type Koala.*shudders at the thought of her national animal*)
Body part: Knee Cap.
Word to describe you: Knucklehead (as my father used to call me).

Ugh...*wipes her sweating brow*

DO it if you will :)

Yes! yes! Yeeees!

I got the job at the RSPCA! Animal Behaviour and Training Assistant! Wooop!

Gooooal!

I've been a busy busy bee today. Lately I've been feeling somewhat energized - not so much in myself, you understand, but I've had a yearning to do more, be more, see more etc. I've suddenly realized there's nothing stopping me from doing what I want. And the people I thought would find that unappetizing (or for want of a better word, unacceptable) are actually a million times more supporting that I could ever imagine. So today I finally took the bull by the horns and did a whole lot of job hunting. I applied for several positions, all involving dogs or animals, and there's a few more I'm still working on. Imagine, getting paid for doing the sorts of things I love doing for my own two children everyday for free! I've renewed my plans to keep working with RDA and decided to start putting in at least double the time and effort I am now, and hopefully receive my Horse Handlers Certificate which enables me to go on and become a State Coach, which is nationally accredited and can help me out massively should I decided to take it up in the UK. I've also contacted schools regarding doing Certificate IV in Companion Animal Services via flexible delivery, so I won't have to wait another 7 months to get started. I know I've been toying with the idea of finishing off my Professional Writing and Editing degree, but right now my hearts with doing something positive and hands on, rather than sit in school all day to complete something I'm not sure will lead to something professionally. This way, I can get placement at the RSPCA (as well as carry on with my dog walking there) and cut my way straight into a Vet Nursing degree.
If I get placement at the RSPCA and continue doing Events as well as the dog walking side, I'm hoping to eventually - and by eventually, I'm sure it will be years away - become an inspector. I can't think of a job I'd love more - I don't know how I'll cope emotionally with the abuse and neglect side, but the thought of helping animals and saving them from terrible situations is really giving me something to work towards. I think I finally have a realistic long term goal! (As obviously, playing ice hockey for Canada is seeming somewhat far fetched these days...)

And as for vet nursing, there's some really good places to do work experience at if I can't manage to get a role in the RSPCA, and I can still carry on with my other work for them in the meantime. And...I know I need tranquilizing myself to even see a needle, let alone injecting something, but I'm sure that will come with time. Right??

My poor, abused dog.

Sahara and Phoenix have one of those 'trampoline' beds, and a doona on the floor. They tend to alternate who sleeps where - I refused to buy another $100+ bed when Sahara ate her last two, and she's just as happy with my old doona. Some nights, who ever is on the high up trampoline bed, falls off it in their sleep. Onto the other dog. There's generally a small scuffle, some growling, then they right themselves and doze back off. Not last week. I heard them snap, and then Phoenix shot downstairs. He does this usually when he's upset - he wedges himself under the bottom step to hide - and I generally just let him get over it himself, and come back to bed when he's ready. Last week thought, I could hear dripping, and Phoenix licking something. I knew I'd left a coffee cup down there, right near where I was making Mum's mothers day gift, and I didn't want him spilling it on that. So I dragged my arse from bed, and went to move the mug - it's easier doing that then coaxing him for an hour and bribing him with beef off cuts like usual - but then he ran back upstairs to bed. I noticed a few spots of blood on the floor, following him, but I thoroughly checked him and couldn't find any holes, so decided to see if he'd settle back down. He soon snuggled up and although I heard him licking, I couldn't see where he was trying to clean. In the morning, the trail of blood droplets was actually 3 large pools near the bed, and a massive puddle downstairs. I ran to check him, and still couldn't find any wounds - until I took him outside in the morning light, and discovered Sahara had gouged several lines through his nose.
He's all better now - and there wasn't a lot of discipling I could dish out, as I don't think Sahara had any idea what she'd done, and it was about 6 hours later at this stage. Thankfully, he cuts stayed clean and have healed well...

except for the scars. I'm wondering if they'll be a permanent fixture, and if so, whether to invent a more exciting story for his new mysterious and macho scars.

Contented puppy snuffles.

Sahara: Mummy! I MISSED you. *snores and snuffles contentedly*
Phoenix: Mummy! I missed you, too! *smacks me in the face*
(you'll need the sound right up for this one).

Please note: The sultry blinking and pouting weren't intentional, I honest to goodness only just woke up.

Also....

I just l o v e this photo.

Hen's Weekend!

The Three Hostesses - myself, Adele and Jo kick back in our pink PJ's at the end of the night.

I WARN IN ADVANCE:

There will be male anatomy.

Anyone who may be squeamish/take offense at genitalia, LOOK AWAY NOW.

You have been warned.

* * *

Myself, Sarah, Beth and Jo get the morning off to a good start with my jelly shots.

I think it was a roaring success. We started at around 11am, preparing the games and balloons - there was lots of balloons - and I started making my cock cookies (known as Spotted Dicks, as they were choc-chip. I did, of course, burn them).

Adele checks out Chef's fine ass - The Buck had the matching boobs.

The boys all headed off to get their Bucks Day started, and we got down to the serious business of cracking the first bottle of champagne.

Testing the more blog-friendly products at the Horny Little Devil's party.

I shant be adding too many photos - they are mainly rude - but the Horny Little Devils party was hilarious, especially with Nanna getting involved. The drinks were flowing, there was much food (and penis shaped ice cubes, of course) and we soon got started on the party games - pass the parcel, biting donuts off strings off the washing line, the usual tricks - and of course, Pin the Hose on the Fireman.

The fireman and his hoses!

At that stage, it was only safe to spin the ladies once and let them loose with their hoses, as opposed to the usual three spins.

The Hen in full splendour!

After dinner, -12 hours later - the girls got down to watching their chick flicks, and my two fellow Hen's night creators, myself and the Hen herself all tucked ourselves into bed for a little chat and relax. I think old age is slowly creeping up.

Me after a few champagnes, trying on the Naughty French Maid costume. Oh, dear.

I hope Seah (and you, Tezz!) had a wonderful weekend, and of course wish you every happiness when you finally tie the knot in June :)

...and I couldn't help myself. Here's the peen I warned you all about - Sarah the Hen and I with our ICE MASTERPIECE!

(thank god we didn't get stuck!)

Galleria, Katie Style.

I take too many photos. It's an obsession of mine. I know, I know. I can hear the collective gasp as I type. Me? Take photos? Never. (Phone currently holding: 1793. Mac: Over 1000. My Kodak thing that my digital camera sends my photos to: Just on three thousand).

Well, here's a few overflowing from my 1.4 megepixels of delight that is my current phone. (read: old Samsung, because my Danger Sidekick has flapped it's wings to heaven)

I will do a little running documentary, just to keep the excitement alive.

Hen's night shopping on Tuesday. I really couldn't capture just how much junk food there was rammed into those two trolleys, but I am pleased to say we were out of the budget by only ONE single dollar. Success!

The evil, evil emu at work. I mean, I'm sure it's a perfectly lovely natured one, but in general...just, ugh. I despise them nearly as much as turkeys, what with the swinging testicles on their necks and they're creepy gobble noises...*shudder*

The giant baskets of chocolate selfing saucing pudding Safeway staff so carelessly left in my path a few evenings ago. I practically jumped into the display and swam through them, Huey, Dewey and Luey style.

My first attempt at an apple crumble. It was heavenly, if I do say so myself.

Life. It's just too hard, huh boy?

My apologies for cutting off your nose, Phoenix.

Chef finds this fascinating, undiminished by repetition. Yes, I worked as a secretary. Yes, I am generally considered to be a nerd. And because of this, I never realized it looked at all fast, because it's just habit to touch type.

I find it somewhat amusing I type like I drink tea - with my little fingers held out. At least I act like a lady sometimes.

P.S - Chicken - this was an email to you. There were no mistakes, right? (From the most recent, not the drunken one, obviously).

Beware, The Noble House of Kitty.

In the morning's, Cleo is like a miniature version of Mrs Black, from 12 Grimmauld Place. If I so much as breathe slightly louder than normal, let alone move a leg under the blankets, she hears me from her cozy nest in the laundry and SCREAMS what I know to be profanities at me.

If she could coherently form words, I'd awake to a chorus of "Stain of dishonour! By product of dirt and vileness! Shame of my flesh - how dare you befoul the house of my own!" blasted in my direction.

Lies make the world an easier place.

I was vegetarian for over 11 years, and it really only changed when I boarded a flight to England and realized I am an emotional eater, thereby stuffing anything - and basically everything edible - in my mouth, including something that may once have been roaming a paddock or river.

Since then, the Chef has been attempting feeding me chicken and fish, under the pretence they don't actually bleed.

I just watched Life In Cold Blood, David Attenboroughs last documentary, and I SAW A FISH BLEED.

Even though, subconsciously, I sort of knew they probably did, I kind of assumed they bled silver fluid, like the unicorns from Harry Potter.

I. Am. Never. Eating. Fish. Again.

Ever.

Blatant Plug #2.

Johnny came care of here.

I've decided to let him shoot my dogs (in the cool photography sense, rather than the callous murder sense), and thus launch himself to stardom.

My last Blatant Plug is now No 1 Unsigned Artist for Acoustic and Alternative on Myspace Music in China.

I mean, I know I'm good, but this is ridiculous. Number one!

Check it out, enjoy, and keep those dirty thoughts involving running your hands through his hair to yourself.

Happy Happy Joy Joy...

I have been informed that over a cozy Mothers Day lunch yesterday, a certain someone who shall remain nameless *cough* Chef *cough* blatantly told his family of my blog. And it's URL. And how utterly fabulous it is. (Which generally wouldn't bother me, as, let's face it, it is wonderful. It's more the fact he's only read it once, and is unaware I occasionally bitch about the world/him/my car/him/having no coffee left/him, and I would be unimpressed if his family read it).

It bothers me slightly I am being censored again, which was sort of not the point of having a blog.

*considers deleting some things*

Alas. C'est la vie.

Theme of the Day: Filthy Windows.

My own little piece of, quite possibly, the sexiest man alive. To have and to hold, from this day forward...

Well, let's not get carried away.

It's not like I'm going to get caught smooching him goodnight as I tuck him into bed each night.

...I'm not that careless.

Goodbye my lover...

...goodbye my friend.

Yep, my poor Corona has made her way to car heaven (or at least to be made into a cube). I've had four fabulous years of her brakeless, fuel guzzling ways, and I miss her terrible.

(Please, someone, make the connection as to why I called her Citrus, I implore you. The only person who's ever been like "Oh! That's amusing!" is featured in the next post for his fabulous gift).

Hold onto your hat, my dears...

I'm nearly ready to bang up some more photos!

I've had an extremely productive day, fixing and re-fixing my resume and sending it off into the dark reams of cyberworld, to jobs I actually have a snowballs chance in hell of getting. I might have mentioned in one cover letter how the vast majority of Sahara's extensive wardrobe came from their store, and another about how my own kitten is a savage, and therefore I think I could deal with their own - because I'm totally relating, you see? People like that shiz.

But of course, it's been a loooong time since my last post, and I have much news, and even mucher bad photography! After I finish my cup of tea, illicit cigarette and diabetes inducingly sweet cookies, I shall arrive at my Mac and update.

You're all shivering in your boots, aren'tcha?

I love you, BUT...

...you really are utterly revolting sometimes, Phoenix.

Yodel!

Almost!

(I still have the marks along my arms and face when I attempted it, but here you can see Cleo having a bit of a sing. Please note: She was not harmed in the making of this clip, and although it looks like she is being strangled, she is not).


(This is a response to the following video, as I've stolen from Kat from My Two Cents. To see the full movie in all his splendor and hilariosity check out her blog!)

Och Aye!

Is it a bird? A plane? The Loch Ness Monster?

A little of this, a little of that.

I've been having a bit of trouble with Blogger, as well as being somewhat busy lately. Even so, I haven't got a lot to bang on about these days - I did have a wonderful lunch with the CEO of Empawrium yesterday, a lovely time watching Iron Man (disturbingly enjoyable) and a somewhat mentally draining conversation with a certain someone about what's wrong with the world and what it would take to make me content. As a result, I've been having a rather mentally stimulating day, reading, writing and finishing off a scrapbook for my lovely mum for Mothers Day. I sat down with lunch and started leafing through a new book, Of Women and Horses, and was totally blown away by Sarah Richards pen and ink art, and some of the photography by Gabrielle Boiselle was just amazing. I mean, nothing competes with my own 4.1 mega pixels of power, but she's not bad.

I took out a book titled "The Latchkey Dog" and the library assistant had the nerve to ask if I had my own Latchkey Dog, which I snorted in disbelief and mentioned my spending practically every waking moment with Phoenix & Sahara, that their social schedule is far more advanced than my own, and their every whim is catered for. I think she thought I was slightly mad, but that's not uncommon.

I'm loving these in the area. Hilarious.

D-Fib

...In all my selfishness and excitement, I totally forgot!

I HAVE A NEW CAR!

I'm off to the seaside for the day with my Mum and Nan (and the kids, of course - always a good excuse to thoroughly exhaust them, and showcase my stupendous photography skills) so you'll just have to wait to see the new beauty when I get back.

Oh, the suspense!

Note: She's called The Defibrillator, or D-Fib to be short and totally cool and rockin', ya know?

Peace out!

To My...

...bestest buddy, BB :) Congratulations! I wish you guys every happiness possible and you have many great years of laughter and love together. You should totally get a ring like this. Two 'karat's rock.






...I better be your bridesmaid!

Beacuse, quite simply, I'm a selfish bitch.

I just woke up and I'm running late (no shock there). These two things combined generally don't put me in a super clear thinking, rational thought patterned place.

I just found out my best friend is getting married. I mean, sure, I obviously thought it was coming, and don't get me wrong - I AM BEYOND EXCITED AND THRILLED FOR HER, AND I WISH HER EVERY HAPPINESS - but there's still a small part of me that feels a little...

Well. I don't know. I really don't. Jealousy? Fear?

A little from column A, a little from column B.

We'll start with A.
Of my three closest friends, two are engaged and one is off in Afghanistan or similar fighting a war. Of my other acquaintances, 95% are married, engaged, or up the duff.
I feel somewhat left out. Falling to my knee's and begging God to answer me why no one loves me enough and cherishes my idiosyncrasies enough to shove thousands of dollars of rock on my hand flashes through my head. I mean sure, I have revolting nail clipping practices, as I mentioned previously, but surely I'm not that bad, right? Right?

Then along comes column B.
I think this pretty much sums it up, minus the being a man part and add in several real cats and a heap of rats, probably.

Alrighty, I will!

With love, from http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif

What I was doing ten years ago:
At the ripe old age of twelve, I was going into my second year of high school (I like to tell people I was super smart and started school early for that reason, when it was more like my mother couldn't stand me any longer) so I was trying to be cool, and failing dismally. I spent most of my time playing on my trampoline, roller blading, surfing and having crushes on my brothers friends. I would have just tried my first cigarette, and cut my ass-length hair really short, because I was such a rebel. I think I still played with my Barbie's horses in secret. Note: Never Barbie herself; oh no. I was much more interested in her four legged friends.

Five things on my To-Do list today:
I'm postponing these until tomorrow, as it's my bedtime now.
#1(a) Find out if I am successful in purchasing some new wheels, and if so #2. taking my old faithful rust bucket to the wreckers and #3. picking up said new car. If #1(b) does not arise, I shall #2. hit the wreckers and buy a new alternator, and bloody fix my car itself. I will then #3. drive around with a massive grin on my face if I succeed.
Other than that, it will be some extremely exciting things like #4. go to the library and #5. start creating my papier mache Nativity Scene.

Things I would do if I were a billionaire:
*Here's a blinding flash of the obvious: BUY A NEW CAR. Or two.
*I'm thinking a Mini Cooper S convertible for Summer
*A lovely hot pink Jeep Cherokee for Spring,
*A Chrysler 300CC for Winter and...

*The usual things. House.
*Horse.
*Help my mother out.
*Go on my long anticipated dream holiday. Hello, USA!
*And pay off the government until they make compulsory jail terms for animal cruelty offenders.

Three of my bad habits:
Only three?
*Picking my toenails and eating them. Seriously, I am that revolting.
*Not finishing something I am wilding excited about for 5 minutes, and making a huge mess in the process.
*Not answering phone calls from With-held numbers. It's not a bad habit as such, but it gives people the irrits.

Five places I’ve lived:
* Daventry, (in England)
* Inverloch, (by the beach)
* Leongatha (in the country)
* Camberwell (in the city)
* Where I am now (by the bay).

Five jobs I’ve had:
* Race horse trainer's assistant
* Dairy farming *shudder*
* Waitressing *even more of a shudder*
* Receptionist/Secretary/PA.
* Retail chicky, where I lost a lot of faith in humanity.

5 Books I've recently read:
*The owners manual for my car. Fascinating.
*Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain
*The entire Harry Potter series. Again.
*My Sisters Keeper by Jodie Picoult
*Holistic Horse Care and Natural Horsemanship manuals.

Monuments should be erected in my name...

...for my superior photography skills.

Two things that made me smile today: A healthy breakfast of deep fried, fat drenched goodness at Hungry Jacks. I felt the need.

Secondly, and more importantly: I welcomed another little lost soul into my life today.

She's tiny, adorable, and Saffron's new BFF.

I'm yet to name her - suggestions any one? In keeping with naming my rats after herbs and rice, I was thinking of calling her Jasmine, but I'm unsure if it suits her. She has the most amazing markings due to her breeding, and is almost purple - she's a lilac hooded with a white stripe along her head. My brilliant photography didn't do her justice - and for some reason, I can't get the photo to rotate, so apologies for having to turn your head on the side for this one.

Isn't she precious?

And seriously.

I need some inspiration for food-ish related names.

(Make that four things to smile about: #3 - waking up to a certain text message and - #4 click here to find out why).