Wednesday, April 30, 2008

The first and last of the deep stuff.

I know I rarely post anything of earth shattering importance, but even more so this week. The more superficial, the more I want to type deep and meaningful posts. I try to keep it light, because hell, I don't want to read about other peoples problems, and if I admit it, because there's certain people I wouldn't want to read what goes through my mind. I don't want to be the angry depressed girl with the weird blog, and find out people read it via them dropping something into random conversation. You know?

But for the record. I have not been coping well lately. Life has seemed a little hard, and more than little scary. Dealing with my living arrangements has been zapping my happiness and light, and the more my mother tells me to take a step back and let it go, the deeper I've been getting involved. I try to tell myself I am deal with my situation - by which I mean living with Chef - hell, I can even be polite if necessary - but when I lose my car and have hardly left the house in 3 weeks, when I can't get to see my mother, go to the beach, and do one of the few things that keeps me in sane in working at the RSPCA, to be ignored for days on end seems like the end of the world. I struggled enough with feeling surplus to requirements in our relationship for two years, and to now be paraded around as his trophy girlfriend when he requires yet refusing to speak to me at home is taking it's toll on my sanity. I can't beg to be spoken to any more. It feels like a violation of human rights. I don't feel able to do it any more, any of it. I can list hundreds of reasons why I wish things were different, but none to make it any better. And I haven't been able to make this better for a long time.

But that leaves me in somewhat of a quandry. If I leave the house - and it's somewhat difficult given he took my bank card and my car some time ago, and now my car is undriveable - I get questioned about who I am with. If my mother calls and I leave the room for some privacy, I am basically being accused of sleeping with Alex.

I. Just. Can't. Cope.

And with my dogs, lack of car and not a lot of money, I'm finding my options somewhat limited. I have good days, where I can see myself getting a new car on the weekend, and the options that opens for me - mainly involving finding a new home. But mostly I'm just a little sad at where my life is right now, and how differently I expected it to be.

I know, I know. I'm a drama queen, I'm prone to mood swings, and hell, I'm a girl. I'll keep it light from now. I always need that reassurance every thing's going to be alright, and all the bad things will be better. I always looked to someone else to do that for me, and now that I've realized I'm more lonely now than I am when I'm alone, I can see that I need to be the one looking after me. So when I dream of going back to school and getting my diploma in writing and editing, of having a new (old) car soon and potentially moving somewhere I can be around people and meet some new friends, maybe I can make it happen by myself. I still dream of flying away, but for now I think maybe that means setting myself free in the sense of making my own life, rather than boarding a plane.

Back to more dodgy photography and lighthearted banter tomorrow, I swear.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Beware! More Photographic Brilliance!

Again, since I've been somewhat violently ill lately, exciting events have been a bit thin on the ground. However, as it's now absolutely freezing outside, I have moved Saffron into the lounge room, where it's continually baking at around 35 degrees if I have my way. Now, before you even begin the thought process '...eww, but rats smell' - - - PAUSE. They do not, and shouldn't, if cared for correctly.
Since her arrival into our most commonly used room, she's found herself the subject of a devoted and loyal audience, namely Cleo and Sahara, and myself sitting over them with a water pistol. They can't get enough of her, and will sit for literally hours in the same position, no doubt unblinkingly deciding which garnish would best suit her on the way down their gullet.
And being the miniature show pony Saffron is, she laps it up. If I weren't potentially hallucinating from lack of nourishment, I'd say she even taunts them. And short of putting on tiny tap shoes and doing a routine every time I open the fridge, she sure makes a performance begging for more food.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Le barf.

There ain't a whole lot to post. I've spent the past 48 hours staring mindlessly at the T.V, and vomiting profusely. Attractive, no?

Phoenix hasn't been too healthy either, so we've been wallowing in self pity together and beseeching the outside world to offer us sympathy. The whole dumping it down with hail and having the temperature drop to practically freezing hasn't improved my sunny outlook on life, and the fact I've watched more crap on TV in the past 2 days than I would normally in a fortnight has somewhat reduced my brain to mush. I find myself walking around the house in hideous matching tracksuits, drooling slightly and staring at the walls.

Well, it's not quite as bad as all that, but I'm not far off. I mean, I'd totally never possess matching parachute material trackies, But I am craving human company, intelligent conversation, and a Hungry Jacks Vegie Delight Burger oozing with mayo. And not necessarily in that order.

I don't know why it is I crave utterly revolting - and usually deep fried - combinations of food when I'm hugging a bucket, but I've been living on a mixture of 4 month old Christmas Pudding, doused in custard and oozing with brandy, and Beef Rogan Josh. (Not that I eat the beef, of course. The dogs tend to help on that side of things. I was vegetarian for nearly 13 years, and don't get overly excited by a slab of dead animal on my plate like some people. By this stage I was so far gone I would have eaten road kill, so I daren't complain when I was being fed, and quietly passed the rotting animal to the kids).

In an attempt to curb my boredom, I've been creating wonderful papier mache ballerinas, complete with tiny tutu's, and reading the entire Harry Potter series in the bath. And, of course, I did resort to crap photography from my sickbed.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Mint, Medieval-ness and Mum.

Today I am off for an adventure! I'm meeting my Mum in the city and taking her to see the Medieval Transcripts showing at the State Library. (We were going to go last week for her birthday, but were feeling somewhat lazy so consumed gluten free fish and chips by the seaside, sunbaked, people watched, and did some retail therapy. A fine, fine day.)
It's a bit of a trek from my new home - buses, trains etc - and not on a particularly 'pleasant' line. Therefore I have unearthed my personal security device (kindly given to me by my mother the day I moved out of home)which screams like a banshee when unpinned, a sharp nail file and a can of deoderant. It's not quite Mace, but I'll have a go nonetheless.

On another note altogether, I watched Juno last week. Well, about half of it. And loved it. I've just got myself a copy, and am looking forward to making it home on the train in one piece tonight and re-watching it, from start to finish.

...and randomly, there's a tiny topless pineapple behind me, of a 'new breed', and it smells heavenly. I'm considering making myself horribly late, and hacking it up and covering it in minted sugar. Drool. It's also obscenely tasty with vanilla sugar, and seeing as I've callously murdered my mint plant, I shall have to serve it up for brekkie with that today, instead.

No, I didn't know you could kill a noxious weed like mint, either.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

From where?

Why? How? Am I really that sheltered I never saw this coming? (Or more to the point, have already arrived and be that next step in panty line free confidence, as several articles have told me?)

On a completely different tangent... I wish I had her stomach.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008


I keep dreaming of New York. I wake up, groggily still thinking about seeing the Maple Leaf's play. I find myself staring at walls, imaging the Chicago sky line. I have a thing about sky lines at night.
It seems every book I read; every movie I watch and people I speak to all lead back to America. And it gets me thoroughly over excited.

I want to stand in the shafts of light at Grand Central Station. To ride a swan boat in Boston, and walk the Freedom Trail. I want to roll in snow in Toronto and run through the leaves in Autumn, sit on Carrie's doorstep and ice skate at night in Central Park. I want to have that dizzying feeling of adventure only knowing you're traveling overseas can bring (minus the hysteria, vomiting and panic attacks that comes with actually boarding a plane).

I realized I don't know a whole lot about the places I want to go. I've somewhat compiled a list of the Must See places, and they basically revolve around chick flick locations and the posters on Alex's wall.

I want to see real desert, ride a horse through real mountains, have a bit of a What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas weekend, and star watch in LA, but again, I'm reverting to what I imagine, not what I know.

So I'm calling for all sorts of suggestions of places you love, and things you would recommend to a naive Aussie hitting the US, or anywhere around the world for that matter. I've got itchy feet to get back to the UK ASAP, and to see where my mother lived in Mykanos, Greece and all the amazing sights France and Italy have to offer.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Sweet at sugar. Or not.

When asked why I was served with a large batch of pancakes doused in maple syrup and topped with ice cream (Seems odd, when I am in fact not being spoken to and living in a seperate part of the house now) I was answered that it is easier to make a large batch of pancake mixture than to just cook for one.

Ahhh, feel the love.

Life unraveling at disturbing rate of knots? Yes'm.

Still, at least I have the sugar high from my bizarre breakfast to keep me warm at night.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Million Paws

Here it is, well before the rest of the world will see it. I'm at the 20 second mark, second from the right, with Sahara attempting to consume the small child next to me. Where is Phoenix, I hear you ask?
I'm yet to find him.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Fuel light? What fuel light?

...what the lovely Rachel deserves for being my knight in shining armour today, and rescuing me from my conked out car. After an exceptionally shitty week, it's so nice to smile because she took the time out of her day for someone she barely knows, when I had a crappy-old-car-dying-for-no-reason emergency. The follow up text message to make sure I was safe was beyond sweet.

...In other news, things are a bit crap, hence the lack of posting. I'm in the middle of trying to decide whether to break my lease and move out, and where that might leave me if I do. I've had a year too many of unwashed dishes, smelly socks and a lack of respect cluttering my life, and it's time to stand up for myself. Which I'm finding easier said than done, what with two dogs, very little money and the fact my car magically disappears every morning along with said dirty sock wearer, without my knowledge. Le sigh.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Friday, April 11, 2008

To lighten the mood a little...

My lovely day @ the beach.

Arse crap bum shite pillock etc.

Upon finding there was no clean teaspoons left in the house, (how? why?) I resorted to using the half teaspoon plastic measuring spoons usually reserved to baking. Why? I NEED coffee. Why? I am in SUCH a foul mood, not least because the idiot Chef just wrote his car off, and I know full well I will now lose my car to him. Who the hell doesn't see a ditch? Why do I lose my independence and life because of his repeatedly stupid actions? The cost of his insurance + excess for having an accident will be well into the $3000 mark, money which could have been used going to Fiji, if we even had that amount floating around. In the last 3 months, he's spent that much again after his last accident with our garden tap, and the car is still un-roadworthy and un-registered, meaning he drives my car and I have none. I am so. Freakin'. Pissed off.

*devours the remaining American chocolate in a fit of emotional eating*

I sometimes think it's a miracle there's no hard liquor or illegal substances in my house.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

before I go sleepy byes...

Parting with Tiny Kitten was so hard. Yes, she's clearly posessed by the devil, and no, my curtains will never be the same, but I kinda got used to her using the hallway as a Nascar track and my undies are her play things. Even harder to be told she's most likely going to be euthanized today. I told them to call me immediately, and I will go pick her up and bring her straight home if they think her rattly chest is non-appealing to the kitty-wanting public. Dying on the operating table or not being fit enough adoption, my arse.

I'll wait and see.

On a positive note, I had the joy of TGI Friday's with Sarah - dear, sweet Potato Twister-y goodness. I think I may need to roll myself off to bed, I'm so full. *salivates just thinking about it*
It was a good catch up, made better by my all time favorite food group, starch.

Night night :)

Tiny kittens and rings.

Tiny Foster Kitten is going back to the RSPCA today, as she's reached the right weight. She's currently destroying things in my bedroom - just for a change - and I am looking forward to the peace and quiet, and mending all the shoelaces/curtains/laptop leads she has maimed in her stay. Having said that, she has developed sinus problems, and I'm concerned she wont be able to be re-homed. If this is the case, she'll be back here like a shot, happily wreaking havoc on anything delicate, with me cursing her to hell and back. Remind me again - why do I get involved?
My new ring. It's massive and tacky. I heart it.

There's still leftover Reeses Pieces sitting next to me, saying, as clear as anything, EAT ME.

I dare not defy them.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

slurp, munch, drool, crunch. Continue.

One of the best things about dating an American? Discovering the above.

Hot diggity damn, I am in love.
I can't get enough.

The sad part is they're so hard to track down, but good Lord, they are worth the wait.

Monday, April 7, 2008


I totally just got the random, bizarre urge to crimp my hair.

No! I said SEVEN eight two, you robotic moron!

I'm having to deal with some truly crap customer service today. I've had a list of things that needed to be dealt with, and true to form, I've put them off til the last minute. So while I'm on hold for the next 35 minutes (and intermittently swearing at the robotic machine lady who asks for my details repeatedly and never understands a word I say) I will eat a massive bowl of Fruity Bix, do a quick post and completely forget everything it is I am calling about.

Yesterday was absolutely gorgeous, and the first nice weather I've seen for about a week, so I packed the dogs in the car and went on a nice road trip to Mums, and of course to the beach. Other than nearly losing my ears to frost bite, it was divine. The dogs had a ball, and didn't manage to roll in anything too revolting, which was handy after their hours of grooming for the day before (see why here).
I (again) had a discrepancy with my new 'healthy eating' diet, and wolfed down several batches of home made fries for dinner, while Mum and I watched dodgy Robbie Williams videos. Ahh, I love going home. It's so nice to have a mother who truly appreciates crap music videos from my childhood in England as much as I do.

I am also happy to report I found several links to trail rides along the beach left on my mac this morning, so I'm hoping I'll be whisked off for a 'secret' horse ride very soon :)

Friday, April 4, 2008

Cleo's no longer...

...a kitten. When did that happen?

lightbulb moment

Now that my Google thing is telling me my biggest amounts of hits are directly related to people finding this blog title...all I have to say is - sit back, relax, stay a while! I'm a whole lot of fun! Just click my newer posts, have a giggle and leave me a comment. You know you want to.

...I only just realized who Davey Jones is from Pirates of the Caribbean.

...considering Love Actually is my all-time favorite movie, comparable only to the Pirates series in times watched (30+), this is slightly disturbing.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Do it!

Check out A Blog By Thy Dog for the latest news :)

Wednesday, April 2, 2008


Tezz! Yes, hello!

My phone is having issues, and I can't get in contact with Sarah - every time I call from the home phone she's engaged (haha! Of course she's engaged. To you! I mean I get some pompous twat telling me she's on another call) - and I have some OUTSTANDING NEWS that I MUST tell her, or else I'll pop - could you possibly hop on the phone RIGHT NOW and tell her emPAWrium - the pet collar company I found at All Creatures Day - are featuring Phoenix & Sahara as their pets of the month - AND ARE CREATING A NEW LINE OF COLLARS AND NAMING THEM AFTER PHOENIX AND SAHARA! They are launching them at the Million Paws Walk!

*spontaneously combusts with excitement*

Everyone else - please ignore this post.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

I'm jammed full of class.

*drools slightly at this image*

I know this will come as a shock to several people, but...

There is still Easter eggs in the house. *Hears the collective gasp*

So, of course, I found it my duty to consume them. Several of them. In one go. No surprise there, I know.

After this, I decided to do some food shopping. After two hours of mindlessly shoving the trolley around (and considering the length of time one would receive in prison for ramming all the irritatingly small children who clearly should not be let out during school holidays, if ever), I arrived at the cashier. This was the moment Chef chose to ask, particularly loudly, over a distance of approximately the entire supermarket, what all the brown goop was all over my posterior.

Yep, that's right. I'd walked around for two hours in a heavily crowded area with melted chocolate stains all over my butt, and thoughtfully, no one had told me. Sexy, no?

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