Arse crap bum shite pillock etc.

Upon finding there was no clean teaspoons left in the house, (how? why?) I resorted to using the half teaspoon plastic measuring spoons usually reserved to baking. Why? I NEED coffee. Why? I am in SUCH a foul mood, not least because the idiot Chef just wrote his car off, and I know full well I will now lose my car to him. Who the hell doesn't see a ditch? Why do I lose my independence and life because of his repeatedly stupid actions? The cost of his insurance + excess for having an accident will be well into the $3000 mark, money which could have been used going to Fiji, if we even had that amount floating around. In the last 3 months, he's spent that much again after his last accident with our garden tap, and the car is still un-roadworthy and un-registered, meaning he drives my car and I have none. I am so. Freakin'. Pissed off.

*devours the remaining American chocolate in a fit of emotional eating*

I sometimes think it's a miracle there's no hard liquor or illegal substances in my house.