To my dearest...

Ryan,
Although you may not know me, I feel the need to write to you about a cause I hold dear to my heart.

You. And I. Locked together, forever, in holy matrimony.

I mentioned the forever bit, right?
It appears this letter will reach you moments too late. It also appears you have fallen under a web of evilness love with a certain child from the Horse Whisperer. (Who knew her leg really wasn't amputated like in the film? )

Should your marriage disintegrate within the next 6-12 months as I choose to believe not be all you had hoped in the coming years, I shall be here. Should she not run her hands, feather light, over your silky yet rock hard abs, quote parts of Van Wilder at inappropriate moments, or simply take for granted the fabulous qualities you possess (such as looking like an amazing sex god simply in jeans and a tee shirt, which, let's face it, is something most men who walk this earth never manage to achieve), I shall be here.

Unhorselike, unlike your prior loves, but here non the less. And I at least ride horses, which is, I think, a more attractive option than dating a girl who actually looks like one.

Yours hopefully,

Katie.