Warning: It's Big

So, news...

Momentarily after this photo, the entire sign fell down and broke into two seperate pieces. We were mortified, to say the least.

* I had a fabulous time frolicking in Gold Class splendour watching Sex and the City. At last! I laughed, and scarily, I very nearly cried. I love Samantha.

Getting in the swing of things with a Cosmopolitan. Ahhh...

* I saw my specialist at the Royal Childrens Hospital on Thursday, and apparently the cause of my recent dizzy spells is my low levels of salt. Salt!
So I'm to drink a litre of Gatorade a day. Gatorade! I detest the stuff.

Yes, my scones are in the shape of hearts. I don't get out a lot.

* When I PMS, other than be an evil, moody cow from hell, I crave chocolate.
This seems to be fairly normal. Until I mention the other part. I crave chocolate and cheese. Together. So today, to curb my satanic mood swings, I made cheese scones. And then entirely covered them in chocolate sauce. Yum.

Rachel and I admire our fabulous shoes during the trailors before S&TC.

* I'm totally, 100% abso-freaking-lutely in love with tracks 3 & 11 from Ta-Dah, by Scissor Sisters. In LOVE, I tells ya.

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Now playing: Scissor Sisters - I Can't Decide
via FoxyTunes
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* Phoenix has taught himself how to open doors. I knew he had the knack, but didn't think he'd do it to get in/out - he usually just opens the bedroom door so he can snuggle in my bed. Because both the back door and side door are spring-loaded doors, he can jump up and hit the handle and they spring open to let him either in or out. As a result, on Wednesday he let himself in from the back garden, and as a result Princess (Cleo's sister) got out, and turned up at the RSPCA nearby. I drove straight there to bust her ass out, and was informed of the huge fee to do so. As I have been trying to rehome her myself, I decided after a while to let them try and find her a loving home, and if they can't, I'll bring her home, as I can't bear the thought of her being put down. I'll also soon be patenting a device to stop him picking and choosing when he wants in. I think it's called something like a lock...

A lamp much like the ones at an amazing little bar I was taken to on Thursday night, which I found utterly fascinating. (The lamps, I mean).

* I did the Taxman vs the Puppy Promo for RSPCA yesterday, and got to spend a couple of hours with one of my favorite girls from the RSPCA, who is the only other person I've met to share my full name. We took in a beautiful Boxer pup, Lily, to get some attention, and attention she did. As I worked my magic with the lunch time crowd of Melbourne's CBD, as I do every time I do a promo, I mentioned how dearly I wish to devote my entire life to the love of it - the RSPCA. As a result...I'm updating my CV to a tailor made job as an Animal Attendant starting soon. I fear the only word to describe my sheer joy is... EEEK! followed promptly by much wiggling and jumping around in an excited fashion.

Chatty Ratty

My tiny ratties had a bath today. Both were unimpressed.
Poppy (R) is getting much bigger, and as she's growing up, she's getting very chatty. So chatty, in fact, that one can barely hear oneself think, or even have the TV think for one. Not quite following me? Have a listen.

Brothers?

Sometimes it shocks me just how similar Bruza and Phoenix are.

*salivates*

My new Chloe handbag, C/O Sarah's honeymoon. I love Sarah.

Booty Camp.

I want to look like this, without having to wear the shirt.
So I've taken action. Yesterday was the first day of my health and fitness Booty Camp, and so far, so good. Chef has manifested himself into some sort of Slave Driver, and made me do all sorts of things involving stretching, push ups and lifting weights. And, although I swore it was something I would never do in public unless it involved large groups of people, a megaphone and a trophy at the end, I even did a little jogging. Gasp! And gasp I did. I'm fairly sure I actually burnt a hole in my lung.

The 'health' part hasn't been so easy. I was doing extremely well for around 6 hours, then accidentally consumed two cupcakes, 4 Malteesers and a glass of Apple vodka whilst Chef wasn't watching, so I was proud of myself for only eating fruit for dinner.

Get those fingers a'downloading.

'...there is where I want to be, right here by the sea, with you right next to me, this is where I can be free, I cannot think of anything I could want more...'

This song plays on an endless cycle in my brain, and I have every intention of making Adam play it at my wedding. Have a listen, y'all.
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Now playing: Adam Arnold Music - All Day
via FoxyTunes

Please note: FoxyTunes doesn't appreciate Adam the way they should. Run along over here to have a listen, then hit iTunes to download.

I claim them as my own.

Bolte Bridge.

View from NewQuay.

Lonely starfish.

City @ Night.

...lol!

Ten for Tuesday.

I just stumbled across a link for Ten on Tuesday, a meme that happens, funnily enough, on a Tuesday. It's pretty self explanatory, and I'm in the mood for rambling. But, to mix it up a little...I'm gonna take two questions from five different sets, simply because. Feel free to do the same :)

2 Superstitions, Traditions or Personality Quirks:

* I have to stir things when I'm cooking, I constantly and rhythmically go around the pot with a wooden spoon. Living with a Chef, it's like a cardinal sin, yet I can't stop - I find it strangely therapeutic.

* I could prattle on about having to walk on the left hand side of someone, always putting my left shoe on first, not eating cheese after 9pm so I don't get nightmares - but let's face it, I just sound OCD. I think one of my most endearing qualities involves having to shake, squeeze, rattle and touch every Christmas and birthday present I receive, and beg for clues months in advance. I get deeply traumatized by it, not knowing what's inside (and my mother takes full advantage of this, and writes out in depth cryptic clues on each parcel, just to tease me further), but I love the excitement.

2 Things You Love About Life:

* My kids at the beach. I still get a massive thrill running down the ti-tree path and rolling down the sand dunes that lead to my favorite beach, and having two laughing dogs who agree with me is just the best feeling. Rain, hail or shine, I crave the sound of waves and salty air to know I'm really home.

* Waking up to sunshine on a Winter day. Nothing beats a crisp morning with the promise of Summer soon to come to get me out of bed.

2 Things to do Before You Get Married:

* There's pretty much just the one here. Find the Right Guy.

*...although learning to love myself and being happy knowing I can survive on my own wouldn't go astray, either.

2 Things You're Looking Forward to in Spring:

* Taking off my clothes. And by that, I mean Winter is so cumbersome - I can't get comfy because I've got 6 layers on and can't bend/sit like a normal person, and I'm sick of looking like the Michelan Man when I take the dogs walking.

* Jet skiing and surfing. Eeeeek! I can hardly wait.

2 Best Moments of the Last Year:

* Meeting Seah (and Tezz, and Bruza and Mac and the three cats, and her family and friends..). It has been beyond wonderful to get to know someone as passionate as I am about the same things, and to have someone like her to look up to. I've had some awesome times with her, and with all of our combined children. It's been total blast.

* Christmas. I know, I know, I'm like a small child when it comes to the festive season. But this past Christmas was great. I got to spend time with the people I love, with no commitments or anywhere to rush to. I got to camp, to spend hours meandering along the beach, to have my dogs run free and to surf, sunbake simply sit and relax. Playing horse racing games and betting with my Nan and setting up a Badminton court with my brother were definitely highlights. And best of all...presents, of course!

Bang!

Ben & I went shooting yesterday, in the city. I feel so important typing that, although I'm rather getting images of stags heads and rifles.
This was the final result from my own brilliant digicam, and as usual, the 'proper' shots will follow soon.

Crazy art at Telstra Dome.

Bolte Bridge from NewQuay.

The city at dusk.

I get sneaky with the 'night mode' on my camera.

Not for those prone to tearies.

I came home from work in a foul mood, feeling all down and PMS-y and muttering about the world.

I read Single + Cats = Sad's blog, as I always do to cheer me up. There was a link to this (read the 'what happened' link on the right) as she'd had a foul day, too.

Sure gave me perspective. And a whole lot of tears.

As I suspected.

Me: (*attempting to shove Chef into a bollard*) Ha ha!

Chef: You're so mean.

Me: You're just jealous because I'm more fun than you. (*deathly hush whilst pondering the conversation that has been the bane of my existence*). Wait. Do you think I don't know how to express affection?

Chef: Ha! Yes! You're like a six year old in a playground. I'm surprised you haven't pushed me in a puddle, sat on my head and rubbed sand in my face....Wait! That's right...you already have!

Me: *bashes him with the shopping bag and skips off home*

My little taste of England.

I love HobNobs. I used to consume them by the packetful in England, and will do so at any opportunity here, too. I came back from a rollerblade (I managed to shove my mangled feet into them, harness the dogs up and had hysterics going down all the hills in the area) and needed a laugh whilst I had a relaxing cup of tea and a HobNob. I inserted Peter Kay into the VD player, and had to share one of my favorite moments...



...enjoy, Ben :)

Beyond surreal.

Just to make my weekend slightly more amusing, Ben dropped by on Sunday.

Whilst Chef was here.

The two converged on the front lawn, admiring my Jeep and, bizarrely, talking boy talk.

Then, comically, they wandered inside. We sipped tea. My floozy of a cat whored herself over Ben. The boys joined forces and mocked me.

Just to add to my horror, Chef then cooked Ben and myself risotto. Then we walked my dogs like one large, love triangular family, and came home to watch chick flicks.

I can't make this shit up, y'all.




I'm also beginning to realize why it is I have a drinking problem.

Wanna see something gross?

I don't have much luck with my feet. Y'all recall when the spider ate my toenails?

This is almost as painful. Almost.

I wore new shoes Thursday night. I told you those things were evil.

The blisters got infected. That, in turn, made the bone go funny in my right foot, and as a result, I HAVE KANKLES.



I am repulsive. Hideous. DEFORMED. Worse than that - I'm not allowed to wear shoes for 10 days. 10 Days! It's winter! And I just got 7 new pairs this week. Feel sorry for me. I beg you.



Damn ballet flats truly are the root of all evil.

To Melisa, with love.

For my fellow tiara-wearing blogger, Melisa.

This is the tiara I wore to my end-of-school formal. I looked like a whale on the night, so I don't particularly cherish this one as much as my other.

My debutante ball tiara. I looked forward to that night for years, and it was pretty much perfect, therefore I choose to believe this tiara gives me magical powers.

My 'everyday' tiara - a present from my girl pal Seah this year, as she knows my obsession for all things sparkly. I haven't had a chance to wear it - yet - but I must confess to dancing around the house with it firmly ensconced in my pony tail when I do the dusting. It makes me feel all Breakfast at Tiffany's.

I tried showcasing these with Phoenix. As you can see, he wasn't overly impressed.

Tiara's, camoflague and general strangeness.

To cheer myself up from the soul-destroying action of the soul selling thing (read the post below), I was having a looksie at my old photos.

I think we're all aware I tend to get snap-happy when I'm down...or anytime, really. It's always been this way. So I thought, seeing as I don't have a scanner (why? why is this so?!) I'd take some photos...of my photos. I know, I don't get out a lot.

So, here they are... the sheltered, quiet days of my childhood.

(Beware! Bad quality.)

My best bud BB and I playing Can't See Me @ Wilson's Promontory when we were 14. My pants were totally cool.

The closest I'll get to Andy Roddick...I heart superimposed gadgets at the Australian Open.

BB & I the morning of my deb, just chilling like usual...

Chicken & I @ our Debutante Ball in 2003. As you look at this photo, think about the fact I'm 5ft 10, and wearing heels in this photo... Yep.

Look Melisa! Isn't my tiara wonderful?

Never! Or...maybe I just did.

('scuse the indentations on my toots. I've been wearing socks :)

I did something today I swore I'd never do.

I bought ballet flats.

I feel hideous. Hideous! I'm so ashamed.

Having said that, I was in desperate need of something that wasn't a boot, and was slightly warmer than Havianas.
Gah...no amount of trying to justify it to myself will work.

Tell me if they're cute. If not, they'll be in the bin quicker than I can say 'I've sold my soul'.

That'll be $6.55 - care for a pyscho with that?

It's a well known fact I am a magnet for all sorts of creeps and - let's face it - dregs of society (usually those are the ones I date..hmm). If there's a nutter lurking somewhere in my vicinity, he'll be sure to start rambling things at me and/or asking for 35 cents, moments before screaming obscenities at me.

Yesterday was no exception. As I was sitting down to my $6.55 of happiness in the form of a Venti extra dry Caramel Macchiato at Starbucks, and jotting down a quick snail mail letter to Chicken, I absentmindedly agreed with a lady seated near me that it was, in fact, a lovely day. Mistake.

She then went on to tell me the intimate details of her 11 year old daughters best friend who was being molested by her father, and how the mother drinks too much but it's OK now, because the daughter joins in and it's their family time.

What. The. Shit.

Anywho, I quickly rammed my possessions (which tend to spread themselves about me very quickly) into my bag and made a run for it. I'm getting better - usually I don't want to hurt their feelings, so I get sucked in for 45 minutes discussing how best to take the smell out of their Ugg boots, but this time I decided to get out while I could.

So much for my relaxing coffee.

The 'proper' photos.

The moment before I lost all feeling in my feet. 2nd day of Winter, anyone?

Pretty, slimy rock formation.

Ben doing what Ben does best.

The beach houses @ Mt Eliza

Trying not to step on starfish.

The split second after the sun went behind the mountain.

My absolute favorite, which I know I can take credit for!

Lead me to the cowboy...boots, that is.

The lovely Seah is off to Fiji to marry the lovely Tezz this week, and I am sad. I mean I'm absolutely delighted for them, obviously, only I'm a selfish cow and I'll miss her like crazy. So to soften the blow this evening, she called and asked if it would be alright if I were to look after her shoe collection whilst she was away honeymooning in the tropics.

It took all of a split second to say yes.

The day after yesterday.

Last nights post was not at all what I wanted to type, hence the deletion of is this evening.

It did it's job though - it gave me a 'lightbulb' moment this afternoon. I've been feeling stifled, and now I realize my problem is that I have too many choices, as opposed to my sulky way of thinking I didn't have any. And now I'm such a big girl, I'm finding it hard to make them all by my little lonesome. So, while I beat myself up working out my life plan, I simply mean to go on enjoying myself, and hope it doesn't all come back to bite me in the butt.

And by enjoying myself, I mean carrying on in a fashion like today. I had another wonderful afternoon, roasting myself nicely on the beach and drinking tea with Ben. For the second day of Winter, it sure was beautiful - and after fiddling about with an amazing camera, I'll have some wonderful shots to prove it. I did feel somewhat like I was being insensitive my loyal Kodak, and didn't want her to seize up due to my betrayal/sand in the lense again, so I took some photos with her, too. Enjoy.