Friday, September 14, 2007

Oh, dear god...

Yep. I did it. I just made a gigantic fool of myself.
You see, the last few days I've been feeling a little... under-appreciated. I've been feeling somewhat down in the dumps, thus fantasizing about having a 'real life'. You know - traveling, having a high powered career, wearing pointy shoes everyday and not having the menial task of washing horses with skin conditions, cleaning up after 2 destructive mutts and man who has more shoes than I do and yet works 18 hours a day and never wears them, and fighting an unprofesional ass wipe of an estate agent who is taking thousands of dollars a month in rent from me and doing nothing in return.

So, on my long meander around the river tonight, I got to thinking about all these things I'm missing out on, of which falling in love and living happily ever after with someone who thinks my body is fantastic and my mind utterly fascinating is one thing that falls in the category of 'not yet achieved'. And for some reason, I thought about a 'long lost friend' whom I accidentally emailed after several Screwdrivers last week, who happened to fall somewhere in that bizarre category of 'first love'.

And yes. I poured myself an extra measure of Absolut, and with the dutch courage burning nicely with the orange tang, I posted off an invitation into the dark void of cyber space, asking him for a casual drink sometime next week.

Oh my fuck and ballsack. What in the name of arse have I done? I was kidding myself to think I could get dressed up in a lovely new eBay purchase, don some heels and slap on some slap, and actually meet someone of the human race for alcohol and conversation. What would I discuss? Just how many bites Phoenix devoured his bed in? How entrancing it is picking scurf from a pony's mane all morning? Just how much my eBay bills are topping, because I have little to no self control? Not to mention how a single drink affects my nervous system now I'm striving for a perfect size 8, and cutting out most of my midday munchies.

Honesty. When I get like this, I should just exercise my credit card more or find a fluffy puppy to cuddle, instead of making a spectacle of myself via email.

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