The good with the...well, effing horrid, actually.

Yesterday was one of the hardest days of my life. And I say that without flippancy - even through plane engines blowing up, taking care of my family when my grandfather died and those other painful days I've been witness to, yesterday was excruciating. On the way to the city to do some Christmas shopping with Mum & Nan, I had a slightly detour to pick up my things from Alex. Ouch. Crying is not something I enjoy having anyone witness; to do so in public was mortifying, and to know I'm never to see him again just made those tears keep flowing. I went with the objective to comprehend what the past few days of agony were about, and although I guess I'm a little closer to understanding it, the hurties are still here. It's like I can't function correctly - from the fact I hadn't noticed until yesterday I've eaten barely anything but a sandwich since Saturday afternoon, to realizing I'd been walking around the house turning taps on without turning them off again, and the biggest fuck up of all - meeting my family yesterday and bursting into tears in the middle of a busy food court. I don't think my Nan has seen me cry since I was in nappies, and especially not sobbing into her fruit salad like I was yesterday.

So, after a fitful 4 hour sleep filled with bad dreams which didn't seem too far from reality, and waking up dejected each time I check my phone for new texts, I'm going to try and look at the positives today. Take the good with the horrendously shitty, you know? Here goes.

1. Netti Pots. They're some bizarre contraption designed to dry out your nasal passage, and in theory, help with hayfever. Mum's been using them to help her sinusitis, so I thought, seeing as I've been rattling around Melbourne like a chain-smoking asthmatic lately, I'd give them a go. It's kind of like a squeezy ketchup bottle you shove up your nose, and it squirts up a solution that is meant to come out the other nostril. Very sexy. Unfortunately, due to the fact I haven't been able to breathe properly for nearly 5 weeks due to hayfever, my passages are so blocked it all comes out my throat. Eww. Still, I dried up for nearly 2 days, and it amazing to not have to labour to breathe. Ahhh.

2. Rebecca. Bec was my brother's best mate in school when we lived in England. When we moved back to Australia, they lost contact, and it was only last week that she found me via Facebook, asking if I knew a certain Bretty. Well, ever since, I've practically hi-jacked her as my very own, and there has been some hilarious, and often thrice daily, emailing going on between us. I can't believe there's someone else is the world just like me! (But quite obviously much more mature and much nicer!). She's been my rock the past few days :)

3. Saturday night. Sarah has decided to throw a little soiree in honor of a Boys Suck/Girls Night. Although guests are arriving in the evening, we've decided to kick off a little early - we're thinking around 6 hours should be enough - and designing my Boys Suck Punch. All I have to say is - there will be penises. They will be fake. They will be floating. And they will, most likely, be desecrated after the champagne is flowing and girls get a-chattin' about their own All Men Are Bastards story. We have every intention of chill-axing for a few hours and doing postmortems on all the man trouble we have been having lately, and naturally, watching Van Wilder and thus spending the evening quoting the most hilarious bits to a lot of inebriated girls. It's go time.

Thus endeth my pep talk unto myself. In times like these, when one doesn't have enough money for new shoes (*gasp!*) one must at least take oneself window shopping for them. Or at least try and take my mind off the urge to dial his number.