Can't win!

So, I've employed a cleaner for the more... yuk.. tasks, and naturally had to set my alarm early to get up and clean before she arrived. She starts doing her thing, and suggests I leave because she's better working by herself. I take myself off (and yes, pondering if that's so she can snoop in a more thorough manner), and arrive home to a gleaming, sparkling, wonderously clean home. In raptures of delight, I head outside to say hello to the dogs...and notice the piles of mud and dirt EVERYWHERE. I mean, it wasn't a few stray clods here and there; they'd completely decorated the back yard and decking with clumbs of dirt. Apparently, the new lettuces, pansies, spring onions and various other plants and vegetables were extremely comfortable to lay upon, and they were sure there was a delicious bone they'd left to marinade directly underneath my new lettuce seedlings. So, I have an internally spotless home, and two sulking, filthy dogs and a crime-scene like mess in the yard. Sometimes, you just can't win.

Silver Lining

Well, so much for some of the items on my bucket list - being a girl certainly is a pain in the ass (or, more precisely, ovaries) sometimes, and dealing with the dreams I have not ever going to be a reality is not something that comes easily. However, my mind-set has certainly been pretty positive this past week, being rushed to Emergency and spending days in hospital wasn't exactly fun, but I'm extremely proud of how I handled myself. The only tears I shed were directly related to the needle piercing my arm for my IV; nothing to do with moping about the things I know I can now not accomplish. When I looked around at the other people laying in beds in the resuscitation ward; it really did hit home how lucky I am to be able to do thousands of other things I want to do, and how much I need to focus on the things I CAN do, not the few I now can't. Top of that list is making sure I'm fit and healthy enough to enjoy my upcoming trip to America; something I have dreamed about and wished for my entire life. See, it's even #1 on my post below of things I want to do in my life; and I'm blessed I have an amazing man to share the future with and who holds my hand whilst I'm at the lowest physical point in my life, too, not just the highs.

The top of my priority list now is to focus on university and make an impact on the right people during my placements at facilities I wouldn't have a chance to impress usually, get stuck into my new job next week once I'm well enough to go back and enjoy the company of the people I will be visiting and caring for, get these horses back into full work and take as much as I can from the jumps training instructor I've employed so I can do the best I can at my first competition, and keep looking after myself and look for more solutions to my current health problems. Most of all; I need to enjoy my life and love the people in it; this week has taught me to take nothing for granted and make the most of everything I have. I am truly, truly blessed to have such an amazing mother and partner; 3 perfect horses and my dogs who have been by my side non-stop since I was discharged, and friends from all over the world who have been an amazing support and source of entertainment. There's been a wonderful silver lining to things this week, one I'm glad I've been able to take away and learn from. I hope you all count your blessings much more than I have in the past; and know how lucky you are.