Can't win!

So, I've employed a cleaner for the more... yuk.. tasks, and naturally had to set my alarm early to get up and clean before she arrived. She starts doing her thing, and suggests I leave because she's better working by herself. I take myself off (and yes, pondering if that's so she can snoop in a more thorough manner), and arrive home to a gleaming, sparkling, wonderously clean home. In raptures of delight, I head outside to say hello to the dogs...and notice the piles of mud and dirt EVERYWHERE. I mean, it wasn't a few stray clods here and there; they'd completely decorated the back yard and decking with clumbs of dirt. Apparently, the new lettuces, pansies, spring onions and various other plants and vegetables were extremely comfortable to lay upon, and they were sure there was a delicious bone they'd left to marinade directly underneath my new lettuce seedlings. So, I have an internally spotless home, and two sulking, filthy dogs and a crime-scene like mess in the yard. Sometimes, you just can't win.

Silver Lining

Well, so much for some of the items on my bucket list - being a girl certainly is a pain in the ass (or, more precisely, ovaries) sometimes, and dealing with the dreams I have not ever going to be a reality is not something that comes easily. However, my mind-set has certainly been pretty positive this past week, being rushed to Emergency and spending days in hospital wasn't exactly fun, but I'm extremely proud of how I handled myself. The only tears I shed were directly related to the needle piercing my arm for my IV; nothing to do with moping about the things I know I can now not accomplish. When I looked around at the other people laying in beds in the resuscitation ward; it really did hit home how lucky I am to be able to do thousands of other things I want to do, and how much I need to focus on the things I CAN do, not the few I now can't. Top of that list is making sure I'm fit and healthy enough to enjoy my upcoming trip to America; something I have dreamed about and wished for my entire life. See, it's even #1 on my post below of things I want to do in my life; and I'm blessed I have an amazing man to share the future with and who holds my hand whilst I'm at the lowest physical point in my life, too, not just the highs.

The top of my priority list now is to focus on university and make an impact on the right people during my placements at facilities I wouldn't have a chance to impress usually, get stuck into my new job next week once I'm well enough to go back and enjoy the company of the people I will be visiting and caring for, get these horses back into full work and take as much as I can from the jumps training instructor I've employed so I can do the best I can at my first competition, and keep looking after myself and look for more solutions to my current health problems. Most of all; I need to enjoy my life and love the people in it; this week has taught me to take nothing for granted and make the most of everything I have. I am truly, truly blessed to have such an amazing mother and partner; 3 perfect horses and my dogs who have been by my side non-stop since I was discharged, and friends from all over the world who have been an amazing support and source of entertainment. There's been a wonderful silver lining to things this week, one I'm glad I've been able to take away and learn from. I hope you all count your blessings much more than I have in the past; and know how lucky you are.

Bucket List

I woke up this morning feeling a little uninspired for life. I had icky dreams, which always make me feel blah, but aside from that and the fact my dream job hasn't arrived this week (and feeling incredibly guilty having 2 weeks off whilst waiting for said job) I just feel a bit... lost. I don't know what to do with myself. There's a hundred things I should be doing, but I just can't settle. And so I started doing what I'm so good at: daydreaming. About all the things I wish I were doing instead of moping, and all the wonderful things I have done over the past few years, and I thought - Aha! Bucket list! What better timing to write it out and see what I can accomplish before my certain death on my birthday weekend when I attempt completing the Tough Mudder. If you're wondering what I mean - here's a little sneak preview of what I have in store.



Yes. That's correct. Barbed wire, electric shocks, fire pits and 20km of hell in between. All because I couldn't keep my big mouth shut when some douchebag said girls can't do it. Hah!

Any way, here goes...

My Bucket List


* Go to New York. (There's actually an entire bucket list within this single item, such as ice skate in Central Park, get married at the Boat House, TGI's in Times Square, eat real New York Pizza...all the important things)

* Swim with sea turtles and dolphins been there, done that. I do, however, have to see a live dugong or manatee, and it would be AMAZING to swim with one.

* Compete in an event on Mr Darcy and win a ribbon. My all time biggest goal.

* Gallop through the surf with the wind in my hair and the salt spray in my face with my best friend on my own horse Check. Also, doing this in Fiji & Vanuatu were fairly amazing.

* See Robbie Williams/Thirsty Merc in concert. Or heck, the way I'm going, see ANY concert.

* Bungee Jump Well, I cliff dived. And that was bloody scary enough to never want to do again. Falling 54 metres into a gully in Africa was quite sufficient to say "I've done it".


* Go to the Kentucky Derby and Royal Ascot races. I think leading in my own race horse at any race in Australia would work, too.

* Get married. And have one of those over the water hut houses on the honeymoon in Bora Bora/Tahiti/Maldives etc. And inside this one, is the pathetically girly and sad comment "be everything to someone" and be treated like a princess. Actually, I think I'd basically settle for not dying alone with 19 cats and have to be lifted from my house because my addiction to Coco-Pops got the better of me.

* Experience another white Christmas in England. Or America. Or Canada. Or all three.

* Play ice hockey in Toronto - and visit all the places in the world I dream about - skiing in Queenstown, shopping in Paris, see France and Spain, and then all my ridng dreams - Trek through Peru and Nepal and Mongolia, gallop an Arab up sand dunes in Dubai, ride through the Aussie High Country and of course, go back to the place I am happiest in the world and ride through Africa again. I'd quite like to ride through the Rockies, too.

* Compete a rally course without wrapping myself around a tree.

* Finish this Tough Mudder in March and prove that girls can do ANYTHING.

* Have my own property with land for my horses, the white German Shepherd I will one day own, and room to be self sufficient enough to live off the land.

* Abseil a real, live cliff thing instead of just climb walls in a warehouse.

* Fit into my clothes again.

* To be continued....



What's on YOUR bucket list?

Censorship.

So, this blogging regularly thing? Fail. Still, i've got my excuses; number one being these fakes nails + my laptop keyboard = bad combination. Half of my Facebook posts are sent prematurely because nasty mister right ring finger nail hits enter when it slips off the L button, and most of my texts are missing vowels as it's so hard to type. The price for beauty!

Secondly, and the sole reason I stopped blogging altogether: there's already people reading this that I don't reeeeally want to have reading it. There goes my vents, my honest and raw posts about things that actually matter to me when I need some way to get things off my chest, and also some of those happy posts about things and people I don't need others to be getting upset about. So, what to do? I guess I'll either censor these posts, and hope one day I'll come to my senses and not actually give a rats arse what certain somebodies think, or I'll give up entirely. Again. Not something I want to be doing... so, to that censorship! Instead of banging on about what a crappy, shitty, horribly horrible weekend I have endured, I shall move on to joyful, uplifting things... like... er. You know. Stuff. And things.

Sigh...Moving on.

You know what...?

Bugger it. That last post, well, it was meant to be on my other blog. I.e, the one I use now, not this old one I haven't been using because I feel like all the old bits of myself I don't like linger in the background - and in a few posts, literally right there on the page for all to see. However... and this has taken some serious consideration, I'm back to my previous statement. Bugger it. I don't even like my other blog, it never felt...well, like home. This is my blogging heart, and if the people who used to read this still do, I guess I'm OK with them being creepy stalkers who won't accept me on Facebook, but still want to know about my life via blog er...that.

The only problem is, I can see myself spending the entire afternoon making changes to this so it's up to old standards. I guess the pool can wait a little longer...

Bloggy blog...

...how I've missed you! Lazing in my bed in the midday sun, scrolling through blogs and sites I haven't even squinted at for what, 6? months, made me realize how deeply I wanted to be back blogging. So here goes! I've quit my job, am still waiting for interviews next week as I'm hideously contagious with the lurgy (or at least a vile head cold) and have nothing on the cards or to do list that's any more strenuous than cleaning the bathroom sink for the next few days....so what better chance to catch up with the blogosphere? Except, of course, that I'm trying to book last minute accommodation for myself and the dogs this weekend to have some alone time with some kangaroos, koalas and a bottle of wine in a spa overlooking the beach somewhere... and that somewhere that wont include WIFI access. All the more reason to catch up today, then.

One of the most magical moments in my life - just me, an underwater camera and a wild sea turtle who was as curious of me as I was of him.

What's news? Well, aside from working, there's been a trip to Queensland, where I spent the days lounging by the pool, then the beach, then back to the pool...until I discovered a 1m acre ranch where I ended up spending my days riding on Australian Stock Horses rounding up cattle and mustering, and riding through the Daintree Rain Forest and along the beaches, ending with a job offer to work in the outback stations any time I want it in Far North QLD...I also ticked off swimming with sea turltles as I snorkeled the Great Barrier Reef, number 2 on my Bucket List.

Looky who I met in NZ!

I had a quick holiday in New Zealand, meeting Cam's extended family and enjoying the atmosphere of the Rugby World Cup. I really liked Auckland, it felt very British and the shoe shopping was ridiculously cheap! I also admired a lot of sheep.

The beautiful black sand of Piha beach.

... I survived!

Last weekend I ran my first race in the Melbourne Marathon...ok, it was only the 5km, but I did it in a time I was happy with and didn't actually expire during the run, something I was worried about. I'm setting my sights on a longer and harder race in March...I can honestly say I've got a bit of a running bug now; being ill the past few days and only having one PT session this week makes me feel like poo.

Darcy and I - loving life!

I also purchased a new car, and a horse float, and have spent some of the best days of my life galloping Darcy and Ista along the beach, with the sunshine beating down, my best friend at my side and sand and sea spray flying everywhere... absolutely the most incredible feeling in the world! Another bucket list tick off, galloping a Melbourne Cup runner through the waves on a completely desserted, never ending stretch of sand. The incident with the boggy, black quick sand and white breeches was rather unfortunate, but once Ista was dragged out and washed off, it was more amusing than terrifying.

Now, I'm sure I've done more than this! However, the sun is shining, the pool is sparkling and I'm under doctors orders to rest up, so I'd best take a book and a towel outside and make sure I don't over-exert myself cleaning that sink.... until next time, which I promise will be sooner than later, I hope you're all well and enjoying life! I know I am :D

Anyone for Time Travel?

I've just finished The Time Traveler's Wife. I picked it up along with a couple of others for my recovery from surgery, and as soon as I smashed down the Jodi Picoult, I moved onto to Dear John, by Nicholas Sparks. In my current state of feeling like a piece of my own heart is missing somewhere overseas right now, I simply could not read it. I'll be saving it for a few months, I think. So I moved on to The TTW - and didn't really get into it for a while. I persevered (so many rave reveiews both from people I know AND Cosmo - it had to be good, right?!) - and ended up so attached to it, I even took it to my post-op follow up appointment and sat, sobbing quietly as I neared the end of the book, out in the waiting room for all to see. I had to go for a quick cappuchino and a large quanitity of red licorice to snap myself out of it.

I've been informed the movie is a bad job of a great book, and it doesn't really surprise me. I have absolutely no clue how that could be turned into a motion picture, but still, I think I might have a look-see at the DVD when I'm next at Civic Video stocking up on Milko lollies. (Why, why, WHY are they the only store that seems to still have them? I LOVE Milko's. Love them. I often make Cam rent a video just so I can buy one, or 8). ALthough the thought of Eric Banna in the nuddy doesn't do a whole lot of good for my central nervous system. I sincerely hope he managed to get a decent wax before filming began.

Has anyone else read it? Loved it? Loathed it? And more importantly...what am I going to read next?

Siiiiiiiiiiiigh.

I'm a bit down in the dumps today. It's the first day since surgery I haven't been completely thrilled with life, which I guess means a) I should be grateful for miracle worker hospital staff and b) realize that I'm tired, sore, and not able to do the things I would normally be doing on such a gorgeous, gorgeous day. It's one of those days that seem like early Spring, with the first promise of Summer on it's way, rather than a mid-Autumn morning. If I had a day off like today and wasn't stuck in bed moping, I'd throw the dogs in the car and head straight to the beach (what am I saying? I live 200 metres from the ocean...jeez, I'm lazy!) and then purchase some beautiful sea-blue paint from Bunnings and get started on the Pool Room to give Cam a surprise when he arrives home from Sydney tonight. Then I think a nice swim in the pool, or a long solitary dusk ride on the horses, and s few beers at the pub enjoying the sun as it sets.

Alas. Still, I got my stitches out last night, and I'm feeling a heap better soreness wise today, so it shant be long til I am back to my usual self, I suppose. I think, perhaps, I am a little down because it's my birthday on Monday, and I always get a bit funny about this time of year. I'm over-the-mood excited about swimming with the dolphins on Sunday, and my mum and nan coming up on Monday to spoilt me rotten (cupcakes were even mentioned...) but I guess the thought of having spent the past while in nothing but big baggy sweaters with unbrushed hair and no make up made me want to get all dolled up and feel pretty, just a little. We still haven't celebrated Cam's super-duper deal yet, either, and I was hoping I could do a little bit of the 'emerge from the chrysalis' thing one night. Oh well...

Just randomly... I attempted watching Margot at the Wedding the other night. I just....no. Absolutely, not. Weird.
I was also half watching The Wizard of Oz (Cam rented me a heap of 'classics' I had never seen, like Grease and The Sound of Music) when I came out of my anesthetic, and boy, did I love Glinda the Good Witch's dress! I should like to get married in it.

Anyway, enough moaning. Time to procure coffee and sit on the balcony and soak up some sun! (carefully avoiding getting more skin cancer, not looking forward to that op next Thursday...)

Altibo & I

You might want to listen to this with the sound OFF.

Oh, and Cameron's referral to 'Head Bonk' is about Altibo's trot - he does this jumpy-butt flicky, head shaky thing when he goes into a trot (which you can't see here), if that's any kind of explanation.

Any way.

SILENCE IT.

Perfection.

This is just The. Cutest. Wedding. Ever.

If I ever get married (*cosmically feels Cam start twitching and suddenly feeling the urge to run far, far away*), I want to super-impose my head on the bride from those photos.


...and maybe re-color the horse a solid brown so I can pretend he's Altibo. Which was technically, never work, as my groom wouldn't get a chance to be sat, bareback, without being flung unceremoniously into the dirt with a ruthless buck.